Loving Those Who Do Not Respect Us.

We need others to respect us when we believe that:

a. If others do not respect me, I am not safe or worthy.
b. I cannot be happy if others do not respect and love me

We have identified our self-worth and security with being respected by others. We will be able to love others when they do not behave respectfully towards us when we have enough inner self-respect and thus do not need theirs.

We are often mistaken when we believe that others do not respect us. We interpret that they do not respect us because they smoke when we have asked them not to smoke, when they are late for their appointments, when they do not keep their agreements, when they make noise when we are trying to rest. Although we interpret these behaviors as a lack of respect, most likely they are simply being controlled by their impulses, fears and needs that prevent them from behaving otherwise. Most of the time, they have no intention of being disrespectful and are unaware that we are interpreting their behavior in that way.

We can take this personally, or just understand their weakness and realize that it is a sign of lack of inner strength and not lack of respect for us. That does not mean that we should accept this behavior. We need again to distinguish between the being and the behavior. We can continue loving the other while making it very clear that we need and intend to have the behavior we deserve. We might even need at times to employ types of natural or logical consequences when we have repeatedly communicated without results. We even have the right to discontinue contact with those who cannot behave justly and with consideration. All of this can be done, while we continue to love them, express our love and best wishes for their being and even help them whenever necessary.

Note: They may be reflecting our own lack of respect.

If we ourselves do not respect ourselves or others, then others may reflect this back to us. We need to examine in such cases whether the lack of respect we are perceiving is:

a. A projection of our beliefs in which we perceive a lack of respect when in fact lack of respect is not a reality. We need to free ourselves from the belief and expectation - that others do not respect us.

b. A reflection of our lack of self-respect. We need to inspire others to respect us, by respecting ourselves.

c. A mirroring of our lack of respect towards others. We need to be more respectful of others.

From the forthcoming book "Love is The Choice"
by Robert Elias Najemy

Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lectures on Human Harmony. Download wonderful ebooks, 100's of free articles, courses, and mp3 audio lectures at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. Find 8 of his books at http://www.Amazon.com.

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The Only Way To Get Rich In The Music Industry

Unless you have spent the majority of your life living under a rock then you should be familiar with the saying, If you want anything done right you need to do it yourself!

This may very well be one of the most valid sets of words ever spoken. Those words apply to the music industry like a hand in a glove.

I have had the fortunate opportunity to grow up around the music industry, and experience firsthand all of the ins-and-outs of the game. I have been to all of the work shops, I have read the books, I have purchased the e-books. After all of that I am embarrassed to say that very few individuals actually have a clue on how to break into the industry.

Well my friend, if you are at all serious about breaking into the music industry you need to continue reading this article. All I ask of you is to read it with an open mind.

Here we go:

First and foremost let me break it down in simple terms You (the independent artist) are a small business. As a small business you have to learn how to do many jobs. Some jobs you cant wake up in the morning and get started on. Others jobs will make you feel like you want to jump out of a window and you will hate every second of it.

The major distributors and record labels are like the bank, or a team of investors. The only thing that they care about is the bottom line. At the end of the day all they want to see is a positive return on their investment.

Are you still with me so far? Ok Good! Keep reading

Unless you have millions of dollars lying around the house collecting dust sooner or later you are going to need to hook up with the majors. There are a few different ways that you can do this but for right now I want to keep it as simple as possible.

Nine out of ten independent artist, have this misconception that the music business is about 90% talent and 10% business. That is so far from the truth that it is ridiculous. The truth is its totally the opposite. The music industry is 90% business and 10% talent. Out of 100 independent artist that I have interviewed 99% of them create a demo and submit it to every record label on the planet. Then they walk around telling everyone that they are about to get a record deal soon. To put it nicely ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

Remember a few moments ago I told you that the record label is like a bank? Well that is the truth and you have to approach them in the same manner.

Here is what most artist are doing They go to the bank (the major labels, distributors etc) thinking that they are going to get a small business loan (a cash advance). The first thing the bank wants to know is what type of assets do you have (why should they invest in you.) The artist confidently states that they have a double platinum record on their hands and they know that it will make tons of money.

Although though the bank is laughing inside the banker will ask does the artist have proof of his or her claim (Can you prove that your record will defiantly sell.) The banker will want to see your business plan i.e. how much money have you made on your own. How large is your current fan base. How many units have you sold without them etc..

Now the savvy artist thinks that they can out smart the banker by lying about their credentials, not realizing that they are masters at this game. The artist will boast about their live performances, how many units they have sold etc But when the banker ask for proof, the gig is up. If you do not have press coverage, sound scan print outs you have no loan translation. Your not going to get a record deal.

I think it was Bill Gates who said if you build it they will come. Take a look at Microsoft that is more than enough proof. Bill Gates created an interface that made the computer simple enough that a monkey could use it and the whole world purchased it.

The same is true with your music career. If you build it they will come (the record labels). Its not that hard to build a lucrative music career, it is however extremely time consuming.

If you are reading this you should already have a finished product. That is what you are going to build your initial business plan around. The first thing you have to do is build the foundation.

You foundation is your own domain name. Most artist make the mistake by only having a myspace.com page which is good, but extremely risky to your music career.

What if you build your entire fan base and have them use to coming to MySpace to find out what is going on with your music career and MySpace decides to sale the company, or worse yet their company folds.

I know some of you are probably saying Fat Chance of MySpace Closing. Thats the same thing that millions of others said when MP3.com collapsed. I personally know individuals who lost thousands of dollars because they trusted in MP3.com.

One close friend of mine lost his house and his car, because he built his entire career around MP3.com.

Take a little time and think about the things I have discussed in this article and look out for more articles from me soon.

Tim Beachum, C.E.O. of http://MusicBizCoach.com, Producer of Independent Film Consignment, and author of The Ultimate Guide To Self-Promotion.

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